How We Help

On Being Optimally Distinctive

How a theory from social psychology can help us find our optimal place in group settings.

Dec 15 • Gary Borjesson

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Taking Anxiety for a Run

A short clinical story of how one woman is learning to make peace with her anxiety.

Dec 8 • Gary Borjesson

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Too Helpful: a challenge facing therapists, parents, teachers—and AI

Being reminded by AI about the perils of being overly helpful

Dec 1 • Gary Borjesson

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November 2025

On (Not Always) Pressing On

a revelation about the limits of discipline in leading a good life

Nov 24 • Gary Borjesson

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I Wake to Sleep and Take My Waking Slow

A beautiful poem by Theodore Roethke. Its evocative lines will linger in your mind.

Nov 17 • Gary Borjesson

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'When Self-Expression Isn't Authentic:' a postscript

How to take responsibility for our emotional weather, instead of subjecting others to it in the name of authentic self-expression.

Nov 10 • Gary Borjesson

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Friendship Begins At Home

It's a commonplace truth that we can only love others to the extent that we love ourselves. I explore why this is, and how we can make use of this…

Nov 3 • Gary Borjesson

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October 2025

Minding the Boundaries: when self-expression isn't authentic

It's distressingly common to imagine that expressing our thoughts and feelings to loved ones is a mark of authenticity. It's not, and here's why.

Oct 27 • Gary Borjesson

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Premature Formulations

How insurers' expectations and best therapeutic practices conflict when it comes to assessments and treatment plans

Oct 20 • Gary Borjesson

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Three Keys of Friendship, with Aristotle as Guide

How to start thinking more clearly and deeply about one of life's greatest goods: friends.

Oct 13 • Gary Borjesson

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The 'Oath of Maimonides:' timeless advice for helpers

For those whose work involves helping others—whether as physicians, therapists, teachers, etc—it's valuable to step back and call to mind the mindset we…

Oct 6 • Gary Borjesson

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September 2025