how a common concern reveals a misconception about therapy. Worries about finding the right therapist are often an unconscious defense against what's threatening about therapy in general. But it's easy to overlook that psychotherapy is addressed not just to the conscious self but to other parts of the psyche...
This note brings to mind Eleanor Oliphant's description of her first encounters with a therapist in the comic, poignant novel, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. She turns her into a woo-woo touchy-feeling stereotype complete with dangling dream-catcher earrings for which Eleanor has nothing but contempt at the start. But it is the therapist's warmth and attuned compassion, sticking with developing a meaningful relationship with Eleanor, that help Eleanor understand she is worthy of living a happy life and being loved in reality.
This reminds me of one of my big defenses early in therapy, which was the thought that my therapist was an idiot and that I should terminate. I’m so glad I didn’t but it was a great lesson in transference!
Exactly. I went through something similar. I remember realizing, laughingly, that though I had sought out a therapist, part of me kept trying to turn her into a philosopher who thought as I did. Presumably that would have been safer!
This note brings to mind Eleanor Oliphant's description of her first encounters with a therapist in the comic, poignant novel, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. She turns her into a woo-woo touchy-feeling stereotype complete with dangling dream-catcher earrings for which Eleanor has nothing but contempt at the start. But it is the therapist's warmth and attuned compassion, sticking with developing a meaningful relationship with Eleanor, that help Eleanor understand she is worthy of living a happy life and being loved in reality.
That's a great connection!
This reminds me of one of my big defenses early in therapy, which was the thought that my therapist was an idiot and that I should terminate. I’m so glad I didn’t but it was a great lesson in transference!
Exactly. I went through something similar. I remember realizing, laughingly, that though I had sought out a therapist, part of me kept trying to turn her into a philosopher who thought as I did. Presumably that would have been safer!