Seizing the Day: how to plan ahead for a better day
If you don’t have your own plan, you will be part of someone else’s plan. - Terence McKenna
There’s a difference between getting through the day, and seizing it. Often the difference depends on whether we have a plan for it. I’ve recently strayed from my usual practice or planning ahead, but I’ve been getting back to it, and as usual I notice feeling better. So in this note I share a way to practice planning ahead with a view to making the day your own. (For those who are clinicians, I’ve found the advice here can be very useful to share with some clients.) As busy as we all are, it’s surprising how few of us actually plan ahead. Speaking of which, I hope you’ll take the poll, the results of which I’ll share next week.
The gist of the practice is simple: preview and sketch the sort of day you want to have—before the day begins. Do this not in your head, but using a calendar and list. The aim is to have a better day. Increased productivity may indeed be a consequence, but the point is to be happier, not more productive. It’s worth reminding ourselves that productivity is a means, happiness an end.
Of course, you can plan anytime. By all means do it during lunch (as I did yesterday) if you feel the day getting away from you! But it works best if you plan the day before it begins. Preferably at least a day before. Planning reduces stress by reducing uncertainty, which means that you will probably sleep better—increasing your chances for a good day.
The alternative is to wake to a day that as-yet has no clear shape to it. Unless we’re on vacation, this is a recipe for starting the day feeling disoriented and anxious. Not only is there work to do, but there are all the other things to fit in (or not). When I haven’t planned the day, I am often haunted by the feeling that I haven’t owned it, as if ‘my’ day was something I got through instinctively rather than chose freely.
Here’s what works for me. Sit down with a calendar and whatever functions as your to-do list. Check if there anything on the to-do list that needs to be on the day’s calendar. Once these are added, walk hour by hour through the day as it appears on your calendar. Work, appointments, and other necessary items, including time for exercise and meals and rest. While doing this walk-through, focus on your breath and body, looking for signs of anxiety, fear, dread, etc. When you notice resistance, ask yourself: What can I do to feel better about this? For example, today while previewing tomorrow I became aware I’m anticipating (or avoiding) a difficult conversation, which explained my general anxiety. When I asked myself, How can I feel better? the answer came quickly, as it often does. Once I had scheduled 10 minutes to prepare for that conversation, my anxiety dropped.
During this same planning session, I noted dreading how full the day ahead was. A reliable source of negative feelings is trying to shoehorn too much into the day, without making room for rest or recreation. In this case, I relieved the pressure by taking playing the guitar off the calendar. Like time for gardening, the guitar currently lives in an aspirational limbo, frequently the victim of higher priorities, like writing this note! Sometime we resist planning because we don’t want to face all the things we’d love to do, but don’t have time for.
So, if you’re feeling a little sad or disappointed at the end of a planning session, you’re probably doing it right. Feeling disappointed is part of the process. Finitude must be acknowledged, and sacrifices made as part of seizing the day! Planning is a deep practice because setting priorities is an existential act. It concerns forming conscious intentions regarding where we put our attention. It means getting real about how much time there is in the day, how much time things take, and how there’s never enough time. (I recommend Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman; he drives these points home beautifully.)
Two other key points of this practice. First, include time to play, eat, rest, and other personal goods on the calendar—from the start. You don’t build a day or a week or a life that’s your own by fitting these into whatever time is left after you’ve taken care of the necessities. In my life, reading, running and yoga, friends and free time are blocked out on my calendar in advance. I’m as protective of them, generally, as I am of any other appointment. This is how the calendar becomes an expression of your values and way of life, not to mention a useful tool for helping you shape up and own the day.
The second point is a paradox we must accept if we’re fully to embrace planning ahead: planning sets you free! In philosophic terms, acting deliberately expresses our freedom. Deliberating includes gathering together (our lists) and choosing what goes on our calendar of days and weeks—choosing how we live “our one wild and precious life,” as poet Mary Oliver put it. If, like me, you’re tempted to resist planning because it seems to reduce the chances for freedom, spontaneity and fun; or if your life already feels so over-scheduled that you fear being reduced to a robot, I encourage you to contemplate the truth of the paradox and take to heart the first point—about making time for your self a priority.
None of this has to take long, but it is a matter of doing it intentionally and regularly. Often I need no more than 5-10 minutes to preview and plan a day. On Friday afternoons and Sunday mornings I give myself more time to zoom out and look at both the past- and coming week.
At its best, I experience this as a practice of getting to know my own mind and heart—which helps me plan my day accordingly.